Where in the world is this blog going?

Well.

This last week I have been thinking a lot about what direction to take this blog, and by extension my book. I was deciding whether this, my story, is better fitted to generic informative or emotional narrative. Much of what I have talked about over the last four years has been how my life can be used as a warning for other people. Men and women alike.I talk about little lessons I learned from cancer, my body, and what I did wrong and how I hope others do better. Here's the thing though, I have learned more about life, love, parenting, being a friend, a child, a patient and so much more. Almost always I hear, "Wow, you're so young", but the thing is, I wish I had learned all of this twenty years ago.

At least, in terms of this little journey I'm on, I think there has been much more to learn than just how to survive cancer. How to Survive cancer is there, but also how to survive mental health issues, going through a divorce during the midst of a hurricane, parenting a child who has already been through far more than any child should go through, and I think, how to lose it all and still come out on top!  Knowing at the end of the day, that whatever I say or whatever I write will be out there forever.  My son will one day read this and know about all the turmoil but how it made me stronger. Also how it made him stronger too. But I also want him to know that it took it's toll on us. I define Us as my whole family flinging around inside the hurricane with he and I as close to the eye as you can be without being in the calm. I have spent a lot of time during this last week brainstorming what will this be, a memoir? something more educational in value, and what I came up with is rather simplistic.

I'm just going to tell my story, with all the emotion that comes with it and the knowledge I have gained. Take from it what you like. Life has a funny way of changing us. Like when I was decorating the house that Christmas four years ago I never imagined I would spend the entire day of Christmas laying on my house all alone while my ex (then current) husband took our son to the neighbors house. I refused to say how much it bothered me or that I thought he was being terribly selfish. Now I would speak up and say how hurt I am, how alone I feel and how it would stay with me for years that feeling of being alone. Since then, irony, which set up shop in my life many years ago, would show that I  have become much stronger as a result of that day. So that when I got sick again in the years that followed, It didn't hurt as much, being alone while being given bad news time after time. I was much more equipped for the ugliness of life.

SO over the coming weeks, and months, I will be writing about the past, present and future all in a predefined space. So lets buckle up and enjoy the ride. who knows maybe we will all learn something in the process.